10 Things To Be Aware Of When Dating Chinese Girls
While I lived in China for three years, I dated a few girls. Selling smartphones gave me the chance to talk to them and to find a way to arrange a meeting later on. But, honestly, it took me a while to manage to get a Chinese girl to go out with me as I had no idea about the particularities and the unwritten rules that I was expected to be aware.
Of course, in a country with 1 billion inhabitants, around 49 % female, you are bound to find any kind of girl. But taking the risk of falling into stereotypes, here is a list of ten things you should be aware of when dating Chinese girls. I hope it helps you.
# 1 – They don’t talk much about themselves
Chinese girls aren’t an open book. They take their time to trust you, to become more confident, and start talking about their feelings and dreams. So don’t take it personally, it is just a cultural thing. They are reserved people and only share their intimacy with people that matters. Meaning that, if they start talking about private matters to you, they are completely into you.
# 2 – They can have a temper
Despite of what you have heard about the kindness of Chinese people (which is true), the ladies can get really mad out there. It is not a big deal to have a temper there so be prepared for it. Not this is far too different from what you have seen in your side of the world, but you might be shocked when you see what can come out of their cute and small mouths first time you witness it.
# 3 – They aren’t used to chivalry
It is not a common practice among Chinese men to be chivalrous. Not that they are rude or unkind towards their women, of course. What I am saying here is specifically about the traditional Western chivalry which involves opening doors and pulling chairs. So be aware that, if you do anything like this for your Chinese girl, she might look you surprised or far happier that you expected. So, yes, if you want to impress her, that is exactly what you should do.
# 4 – They love children’ present
No matter how old they are, Chinese girls love to get children’s toys as presents. Dolls and teddy bears are among their favorites so go straight to the kids’ department if you are looking for a last-minute gift. And don’t forget that they should be pink.
# 5 – They aren’t used to compliments
Chinese girls can be shy as you know, but, above all, they aren’t used to getting compliments. They are going to have a hard time dealing with your lovely words so don’t think that this is because that didn’t appreciate what you said – they just don’t know how to behave, and they will most commonly try to say that you are wrong or, at least, to minimize the compliment.
# 6 – They won’t understand your jokes
Jokes are a cultural thing as you might know, so this tip works for any intercultural relationship. Avoid as much as possible to tell jokes or to use sarcasm when you are talking to a Chinese girl as, most of the time; they won’t get it. They won’t understand the context and, possibly, the vocabulary required to follow it correctly. Plus, some things that you might find amusing can be considered as offensive by them. So, yes, leave it alone.
# 7 – They are very feminine
China has opened itself to the world since a while ago, and many things have been changing. But it is still true that the traditional expectation of a woman being feminine is the norm here. They will do their best to reinforce their role, and you can expect a behavior that you might not be used of seeing anymore as the one that you see below.
# 8 – They control the household
Chinese women still think that they should manage the household by themselves so be prepared for it. As I said, things are gradually changing, but most of them will still see as their solely duty to keep the house clean, to cook, and to look after the children. Meaning that even if they accept your help, they will always be the one in charge while you will be the financial provider.
# 9 – Their family will come first
Yes, you will never be the most important person in their lives. Actually, the competition that you will face for priority can be huge. Chinese girls consider their family as the paramount people in their lives, and you will never come before them. And be aware that they might also add to their list their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and the rest of their extended family.
# 10 – They want to get married soon
If you are one of those with commitment issues, make sure that the Chinese girls you are dating (or want to date) is an exception to the rule. In China, the ladies are prepared to get married as soon as possible, and they will question your intentions since the very beginning. In other words, they hardly look for a boyfriend, but for a potential husband.
Wrapping it up
As I said, it is very easy to stereotype an entire population while writing this type of post, but there is no way around it. Yet, most of the things above are likely to be true among Chinese girls. So use my tips wisely, just as a background information so you don’t get too surprised when you see these things happening. And happy dating!