Top 10 Ways to Pick Up Chinese Girls

Picking up Chinese girls requires a different approach than picking up western women. Chinese women are much less straight forward and they are less sensible to certain pick-up lines. In fact, using the same language you use with western women might even set you back completely and totally ruining your change of getting a date. On this article we will look at some top 10 ways of getting to a Chinese girl. Hopefully, if you play the cards right you will not walk away empty handed.

Tip 1. Pick something very narrow to focus on and use it to transition into a broader compliment.


Don’t just say that the girl looks beautiful, but rather look for something specific and compliment that. You could say that she looks very good in a particular dress or that her hair color suits her very well. This will give her the impression that you don’t say these compliments to every girl and that indeed there is truth in what you say.

Related: Top 10 Online Dating Websites to Date Chinese Girls

Tip 2. Express your love and admiration for China.

Even if you don’t know squat about Chinese culture, you should definitely try to learn a few things and use them on your pick up attempt. If you want to get a smile from a Chinese person, then tell them you love their country. This works 100% of the time. If you are already living in China and really want to blow a girl’s mind away, then tell her you want to settle down there and you would love for her to help you learn more about the culture of the country. Remember, lying to get a date is not recommended. That being said, enjoy tip number 2.

Tip 3. Don’t be afraid to exaggerate.

Small comments like “I like your hair” may just be brushed off as politeness. Instead over exaggerate and again make it clear that you are complimenting her. If she is wearing high heels, then go on to say that those heels really make her legs look long.

Tip 4. Be persistent.

Chinese girls can be shy, and will often try to deflect your compliments. A very common way for Chinese women to deflect a compliment is “哪里哪里” “nǎli nǎli” which literally means “where, where?” If she says something like this, don’t back down.

Tip 5. Focus on her personality. 

Compliments about a Chinese girl’s personality are usually more powerful than compliments about her appearance in general. Try to find out what she does for a living and what education level she has. Go on to let her know how smart you think she is and if she drops something or does something silly, then, don’t forget to let her know how cute she is. Chinese girls seem to have a cute fetish and they do everything to act and look cute.

Chinese girls go wild when they see a foreigner speaking good Chinese. If you can speak the girl’s language or better yet, if you can complement Chinese girls in their own tongue, you have the potential of being a living legend in your area. This is especially true for foreigners living in smaller Chinese towns.

Tip 7. Do your research.

Remember that concepts of beauty change from culture to culture and in China this is no exception. Before you go on to compliment a girl’s looks, you should do a little research about what they consider to be beautiful.  A few basic things that all Chinese girls focus on are being tall/having long legs, having a very white complexion, a narrow almost triangular face with the point being the chin, and long eye lashes. Complimenting any of these four areas is sure to be effective.

Tip 8. Avoid using ready-made pickup lines. 

The problem with pickup lines is that they never work. Some guy invented them 100 years ago and some amateurs still believe they will work today. There is nothing more ridiculous than spamming women with ridiculous pickup lines and doing this in a culture where these pickup lines mean nothing is even more inefficient.   In general, avoid pick-up lines, jokes, and sarcasm.  Chinese girls aren’t used to using or hearing that kind of language and usually won’t understand it.

Tip 9. Don’t say they she is funny.

Avoid saying calling a girl “funny”, as it carries a negative connotation in Chinese. If she makes you laugh, then just use tip 5 and say she is “cute”.

Tip 10. Avoid talking about past relationships.

When she asks how many girlfriends you have had, lie about the total number. Usually, Chinese women don’t look for a date, they look for a husband. Even what might seem like a small insignificant date to you, will be an opportunity for her to observe you and decide if you are a good potential long term partner. If you are also looking for marriage, then telling her you want to form a family and would love to have a couple of cute mixed babies one day, will melt her heart. At this point, she should be yours even though she might remain careful.

Bio: Lucas C. is a 31-year old Brazilian who has been living in northern Germany for the last 6 years. In 2010 he accidentally ended up in Shanghai for 7 months and immediately fell in love with China. Ever since his return to Germany, he continues to delve deep into the Chinese world by studying Chine language, researching about Chinese economy and analyzing changes in Chinese society. Lucas has been to more than 12 Chinese cities and is currently sharing a life with his Chinese girlfriend. If you want to read more articles about how to find an ideal Chinese girl or are interested in finding out more about Chinese women, then head over to

59 Responses

  1. Hank says:

    Ohh come on guys we all know in the end we’ll just dump those chines or japanese in the end ! Let’s be real honest for once they are just sex object and in the end we can’t deal with them cause culture difference.

    • miss tan says:

      as a chinese girl, i am offended. i feel as though you are being racist -.-

    • Elias says:

      You don’t know anything. Chinese girls are loving and caring. They aren’t just sex objects, NOT EVEN CLOSE! Have you even looked up any info about chinese or japanese girls?

  2. Lucille says:

    Chinese girl is the treasure you will never get

  3. Shahid Mehmood says:

    New here .I am really true chinies lover since i meet one chinies boys working with me. I really love chinies culture and China girls their beautiful face is my dreams since long time. If any serious chinies girl here can contact me back. I will assure you will never be get disappointed or never feel out of your country. I will give you respect morethen my self.

  4. Bearded dragon says:

    Hellen, you say, “Oh my god…” Who IS your God?

  5. Brion says:

    Ok. But the author did not end up with a Chinese woman. The ONLY valid tip is that if you try to get a woman based on her ethnic culture, you will fail. If you want success, you will be yourself, and allow her to be as well.

    Signed, happily married (15) years, white husband of a Chinese lady, and woman.

  6. Red says:

    Some comments here are pretty pathetic. All women are inherently the same. While culture and upbringing is important, there is no way that smooth small talk and decent kino won’t work just as well as on western women.

    While I didn’t visit China yet, my experience includes most of western europe, Vietnam, Japan and Thailand.

    Please don’t get discouraged by the comments, I think some people here don’t want westerners to date chinese for whatever reason.

  7. Stoltz says:

    Silly article makes Chinese girls looking more smart than westerners and it’s not what we see when they stumble upon everything in western cities. Just prop

  8. mohsan abbas says:

    i am pakistani i need chinees beautiful girl i like the chines my age 19 years

  9. Ann says:

    “where,where…”you must be a fool don’t know Chinese at all. In fact if someone uses those tips and trys to date us, he must be totally a fool. We are really sensible about whether you mean what you are saying or not.

  10. Janik says:

    As a rule, women will say that money is not important, but only when there IS money.

  11. jesus mata says:

    25 years ago I married an American woman , and for 10 years my life was a living hell, which I stood for my 3 adorable baby girls, she was materialistic ,bossy, bad tempered,and very liberal,so she said.then I finally divorced , 1 year later married ,a Mexican girl, she was excellent wife until she got her green card,then she became totally the opposite.then I divorced again, I was single for 3 years,then in atrip to China I knew my current wife.I am not afraid to say that she is the most perfect wife in the whole world.. I adore her,she is beautiful,tender respectful and , feminine and you could ask of a perfect wife,12 years have gone,and Ilove as the first the way I am according to her all she could dream in a husband she is treated like the most delicate part of me,because she earns it.


    Hi everyone !
    I’m italian,a Milan resident,and I recently happened to meet a pretty china girl here in Milan’s downtown,while both having a drink with friends.We had never seen each other before and we just had few words about our respective drinks: not a great idea ok,but I wanted to get into touch with her and couldn’t do anything better at the moment !
    The 2nd time I met her(same place)I asked her “What’s your name?” She told me her name and immediately she gave me a card of the company she’s working for.A few days later we had a third encounter:I gave her my personal address and mail asking her to mail me so that I could get her mail address.
    The day after I got a mail from her and then,we met again at the same bar:
    she was nice but not so friendly.Two weeks followed with no contacts so I recently I sent her another mail just asking if she was ok and claiming I felt happy for meeting such a pretty well mannered and smart girl.Unexpectedly I got a quick replay in which she wrote down her portable phonenumber,writing me to feel free to call her.She also did remark private calls are not allowed in her office,and assured me she would call me back as soon as possible.
    As for ready made dating lines,since our first meeting,I have obviously expressed admiration for her charming look and manners besides great appreciation for her smartness.
    New to this site,after reading the dating suggestions and your comments,I dare say that ready made dating lines can’t apply to single personalities (both of the chinagirl and the western guy dating her).
    As a sample,I was aware of their shyness and slower approach compared to western habits:so, her sudden giving me her card and later on,her cellphone
    is seemingly unusual for a chinagirl.Unpredictable moves,spontaneously done without being asked for:evidently there can be different behaviours amongst chinese people still admitting some common headlines in their way to social relations.It can depend on how long they have been living in our social reality,
    on the single attitude and several other reasons.
    Honestly she seems happy of knowing me yet being pretty formal in her messages:that’s actually a huge difference between her and our girls.
    However I have just invited her for a dinner next week…hopefully she’ll be fond of italian food…as I’m really not a fan of ethnic cousine:):)
    Please forgive my rough english…
    Cheers 🙂

    • xia says:

      an acient chinese word-mainly means:the first time is very easy,the second time will be a little difficult,and the third turn to impossible。so as a senior shooter,I suggest you should wanquite she as soon as possible

  13. snow says:

    I and my female friends, we in China have their own work, apartment, a good life, don’t need a man to change my life.
    We just think German man is very tall and handsome, but very clean, very feeling.

  14. snow says:

    I am a Chinese girl.
    My trip to Berlin, to a German man and very feel, but I was very shy, not to his contact information.

  15. Tater says:

    I tell her every morning and night 我爱你. And it’s the truth.

  16. Tater says:

    I been dating a Chinese girl for almost a year. She is 100% Chinese and is an attractive girl. Tall skinny slender face. She is extremely smart and driven never asks for my money or any of the other things that have been stated on this site. I’m a westerner and her family is extremely well off and they also like me as well, there caring, kind and didn’t mind there daughter being with me.

  17. Eee says:

    This can get creepy pretty fast. I wonder if some men actually have tried this and got slapped in the face. Some Asian women (Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc.) are over-pestered; have stalkers etc. This whole business can get annoying and sometimes even dangerous. Some women just really dislike certain type of men. Persistence from men can be frustrating.

    Encouraging men to be persistent at all times under any circumstance is idiotic.

  18. Peter says:

    Lol… wanted to say high end hifi, not wifi :)…..

  19. Peter says:

    I am westerner maried to chinese girl and none of the comments is my case. The post itself makes a sense for me. When i met my wife, she had chinese boyfriend for 4 years, families kind of pushing them to marry but she was not sure so she went to study abroad for a year to get a good thought. We didnt plan any, she was not golddigger and hated us foreigners when other chinese girls (kinda golddiggers) invited us to join them. Its just the talk and other usual things bring us more and more close. Though i agree chinese are temperate and they will throw dishes when completely mad, it happpened maybe 1nce or 2ce to me. Their understanding of money and management of them within family is different from western due to deep cultural influence. But its not like i need to give all my salary to my wife… its just she kind of dont approve wasting them (like when i ordered billiard table without asking… she got a bit angry, or when i decided to get high end wifi, was hard to get approval, but i am sure any woman would have issues to just agree to those without questioning :)) I know many mixed couples but i would not generalize. Each person is different, each couple also. But to say a thing… Really small percentage of chinese girls are truly suitable to live abroad. If you want to enjoy good relationship, you should make sure you both are very open in cultural views and differences. For person like me, its perfect, because i just love my life being nowhere close to ordinary. I would hate to end up being average guy with average wife and average life…

    Usually men from nordic europe love to marry chinese women, because chinese girls are more shy, more like a woman, in compare to higly emancipated women in nordic countries. Its much less chance chinese wife will cheat on you, than western one.

  20. just a test says:

    Foreign can not meet decent chinese girls, except the person likes Deng Wendi.

  21. Sophie says:

    As a Chinese girl,what i can say it’s quite funny of those words.It is just a small part of girls like that,but one one thing it’s truth is we all care about our family,most of us starting a relationship it’s for marriage,whether u rich or not, handsome or not..我們中國女孩不全是拜金,只是我們真很重視家庭,因為我們的文化,結婚結婚不是只是两個人的結合,而是雙方家庭的給合。。至於錢的問題,我覺得因人而異,因為每個人都不一樣,我只能說想法很重要溝通很重要。但有點說對了,千篇一律的hi,how r u? or u r cute真的很悶,說漂亮說得太過只會讓人覺得你花心。當然,如果你剛好遇到的是一個非常開放的,i mean the play girl 那就另當別論了,不過我覺得要看個人,如果你人好總會遇到合適的。好吧好像說太多了,不過希望對你們有幫助吧。。ps:if u can say Chinese, that really a bonus for u to meet and know more Chinese as communication it’s really important,畢竟不是每個中國女孩的英文都很好,有時候中英文的表達真的可以差很多,誤會可是很容易產生的;加油lo:)不過你是要找哪個國家的,人好,心好,溝通好才是最重要的(wherever which country u come from, the ethnicity always not a problem if u have a good heart and personality,that’s not a thing! Best good luck!!)

  22. Beauchamp Latimer says:

    Chinese Beauty and Characteristics –

  23. Jessica says:

    i laughed a lot while reading this article
    it’s funny to see how you guys see Chinese girls
    however, as for me, it’s never a good idea to try with westerners as my family is very traditional and most of my friends are the same.
    also, here in where i am located, there are so many foreigners settle down and we are so used to seeing them or knowing them.
    we don’t really think foreigners here are rich or richer, there’s even a saying called: only the failure foreigners settle down here (no offense)
    my cousin married a westerner and he took 5 years to marry her for my family disagreed..hmm, he can speak cantonese quite well and is a very nice person.
    i do believe there are many good guys here and there but i must say the foreign guys in China, mostly leave a bad reputation to the others.

  24. gaga says:

    shoot! Ijust hit this website accidently, all guys talling, but it’s not true. If you follow” that top 10 ways”, definitely have no good end. And one more thing I have to clarify is not all the chinese girls want your money, most of us are curious about western culture. Fuck off your money, some of us earn more than westerners do. We more interest in what you interest in.

  25. Derek says:

    Wow you guys have shed a lot of doubts in my mind now about a future relationship with a Chinese lady. I have dated Taiwan ladies and found them to be ok although not as pretty as the Chinese. I am currently living in England but I was contemplating going to china to teach English as a foreign language but as I am now divorced I thought it might be a new way to start over uhm. Any thoughts would be well appreciated. Derek.

    • Kev says:

      Hi Derek,

      yes, teaching English is a new start following a divorce.
      But me mindful when dating in china, many girls will follow their
      mothers culture and not dated divorced guys. Although I am sure you
      will find many exceptions to this rule in the big cities, Kev

  26. Massive says:

    On the surface seems that the writer has a point but, unfortunately, Shanghai is a gold diggers’ city, well known fact. So, chinese girls seem ‘cute’ but they do it in order to fetch the man. So many of you get pissed off by the author generalizing but in China this is true, I know westerners hate the idea of generalizing but in China, the education, values and impressions about anything outside China is all generalizations, so dig it guys. I’ve been to all the four corners of the territory and spent a couple of years, I agree with what other posts said, chinese girls are all about money even if they aren’t, their parents, friends and society force them to believe so. Most of my friends married with a chinese girl suffer from the same: they have to hand their salary to their wives and then the wife decides how much money she gives back to him so he can spend ‘wisely’ ‘their’ money. It’s disgusting to see how the foreign guys agree to this on the basis of ”because she knows how to handle money better thane me”. Geez… that’s the result of the pusyfication of the men but any way going back to the subject; I haven’t met any married couple (foreign and chinese girl) that are an example or inspire me to do the same. It’s all about the chinese women controlling the finances and the decisions of the men. Horrible. It’s sad to say but as one of the post above mentioned, most of the girls who marry foreigners in China have some kind of mental issues or a dodgy ex-relationships past i.e. they were cheated by their boyfriend, husband, abandoned before getting married or just no chinese men finds them as a marriage material. But of course, the naive westerners come with the idea of not judging the person and accepting her for what she is and bam! get married to them. Only to find afterwards many weird stories about their previous relationships, plus, they realise their new ‘cute’ wife turns into a control freak with irritable temper throwing dishes at him anytime he disagrees (this is sooooo common to hear and see). So, I appreciate the efforts of the author with his tips but reality is not like that. So, watch it guys.

    • Guy says:

      I actually agree. I’m mixed myself. My partner is Chinese Mainland, and she’s totally 1000% cute, but she has this dark streak, and has been cheated by Chinese guys before and has “past” issues (but who doesnt), and doesnt have the typical cute Chinese girl look. My Chinese mother controls all the finances. Though no past issues.

      If there is a next time, I’m going for a local born Chinese girl… Fingers crossed.

    • Jeter Cooper says:

      “irritable temper ” so why is it so, cause i have a Chinese girlfriend. Though i haven’t met her , she tells me she has a bad temper.

    • Li says:

      Massive you are hundred percent right

    • Harry says:

      I am divorced twice, one NZ woman, one Japanese, both because their anger and irritation killed all love, romance, and attraction. I actually think it is a global issue. I can guarantee societies where men are in charge women are not permitted to destroy their homes with anger and irritation and running away with their emotions. Actually I recently enjoyed two of the most wonderful years of my life with another Japanese woman, we lived together a year after a year dating (with no intercourse for the first year) and she did the same after 7 or so months living together. I gave her the world. The anger was always about nothing, really nothing at all. Her demonstrative volatile anger began to cause distance and create fights (fighting about fighting). she refused to reflect, be responsible for it, totally blamed me, ended up going behind me with a dick wagger from her work, never apologized for the volatile anger outbursts, never corrected it and it was the direct cause of our undoing…and after things became strained… the dick wagger from work naturally looked like a far more appealing option and stress free option. Bring back the biff I say. Never the less, I still believe in love and am looking for my next wife. We will have strict rules in place about expressing irritation and anger and what is okay and not okay.

  27. Chinese chick says:

    Its very common to see western males paying money for Asian escort service everywhere even in China, acting like normal couples but in fact those Chinese women are ripping off foreign males’ for money to shopping and buys gifts for their Chinese lovers/bfs.

    Usually East Asian girls who date with western males are less attractive in appearance or having mental problems.

    The tricks above can be for reference only, the golden tricks of dating Chinese girls nowdays in China are ‘Gao, Fu, Suai (whether you’re young good looking guy or the son of wealthy family).

    • Rafiki says:

      I think what you describe is an ideal. It is a dream that most people may have. However, reality is different. Go out to any venue. The most persistent guys are the ones getting the girls. Really all it takes is an average looking guy who has acquired knowledge from his many “failures”. He gains social intelligence, loses his fear and is able to make accurate predictions on where to go in the conversation. Gao, Fu, Suai is mainly for losers who lack social skills and a sense of purpose. It is also an unrealistic dream for many girls.

  28. The Ted says:

    I hate people like you. You make all of us foreigners who actually love China look bad. Please go home.

  29. Jack says:

    this has a rapey feel to it…. its very wrong

  30. Seksor says:

    Who says “哪里哪里”? Anyone saying this is more likely to get a laugh for using some seriously old fashioned language. Unless you are some isolated part of China I haven’t spent much time in.

    • for_pandaria says:

      No no no, I’m a native Chinese and trust me, be your self as a Lao Wai, speak Chinese, as smoothly as you can, but always make your sentence 95% right (for grammar). When you speak 100% like Chinese, they will treat you as a Chinese, you will lost a lot of…say, forgiveness. If you are a Lao Wai, you can make some mistakes and just need to say sorry (at least you need to looks like sincerely), also, if you are so good at Chinese language and culture, you will lost your charm.

      • Xavier says:

        Ha. I laughed when you wrote “…say sorry”. I’m American, in US, and have dated Chinese women for about 5 years (not ABC women). I have NEVER heard a Chinese person say anything apologetic. Never. No “I’m sorry”, never hear “Excuse me”, and I have a better chance of winning the lottery than to hear a Chinese person say “I apologize”. And the concept of forgiveness seems to be beyond their comprehension. I love Chinese women, but they just can’t seem to (or want to) understand humility. Sad, really.

  31. KalanStar says:

    “Tip 2. Express your love and admiration for China.”
    Really? All the way up at number two, “blindly pay homage o Chinese brain washing”. If that’s what it takes, anything beyond “yeah, I like it here”, to get a Chinese chick she ain’t worth it. Any girl worth getting should have enough brains NOT to be so blindly patriotic.

    The other tips seem useful though…

  32. One says:

    And there we go, foreigners turning chinese girls into objects again. Way to go!

    • Tony says:

      Reminds me of a John Keating quote: “Language was invented for one reason, boys – to woo women [. . .]”

    • Jack says:

      I totally agree with you turning chinese girls into objects Is fuckin’ sick.
      Why do they this this kind of piss is ok to publish?

      • Harry says:

        You’re a feminist, and your pushing your politics on people. Did you know that? Is that polite. Always pushing your politics and judging everyone by your feminist politics. Do you think it’s polite to force your politics onto China, Chinese women, and in fact everyone at every opportunity you get. God damn feminists.

    • M says:

      But if chinese women (or any women in the world) turn men into ,,resources node” it is absolutely ok? One more feminist screaming that women are those ,,objectified” and at the same moment treating males like walking ATM machine and judging them solely by size of the wallet.

    • Harry says:

      You’re a feminist, and your pushing your politics on people. Did you know that? Is that polite. Always pushing your politics and judging everyone by your feminist politics. Do you think it’s polite to force your politics onto China, Chinese women, and in fact everyone at every opportunity you get. God damn feminists.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *