Top 10 things not to do in China
For many western countries, China is the extreme representation of otherness. Starting from this idea, many of our unconscious cultural behaviors can pop up when living or traveling in the country, sometimes irritating or even offending Chinese people without willing to. In order to avoid such embarrassing situations and experience. Here are the 10 most important things to pay attention not to do with respect to Chinese culture.
1. Never make someone lose face
“Publicly shaming” is the worst thing that one could do to a Chinese person. That is why you probably would see a much stronger (if not obvious or immediate) reaction from them.
2. Never let someone else pay the bill without fighting for it
I laughed when I first saw the title. Two words: very true. Even if you don’t plan on paying the bill at all, you must make a small symbolic offer to pay, and after the decision is final, how much you regret is for costing the paying party a great amount of a trouble. Some people are willing to fight to the extreme with verbal coercions and standoff with others contestants. Frankly, this is an aspect of my culture that I can never fully grasp. My best explanation is that such benign, artificially constructed tension somehow manage to bond people closer in the end.
3. Never accept a compliment graciously
If you receive a compliment from someone, the appropriate thing in China is to deny it with modesty and never accept it. According to traditional Chinese culture, agreeing with the compliment will make you look too proud of yourself. However, in this day and age more and more people would accept it in a Western way.
4. Never accept food, drinks, or gifts without first refusing a few times
As far as receiving gifts goes, I do not think feign refusing a gift is always a good idea, because you might be misinterpreted and come across as rude. A better tactic would be showing regret to the other party, from the viewpoint that you have caused them so much trouble by preparing the gift (even if this is probably not what you asked for in the first place). The bigger the gift is, the more regret you’ll have to show.
5. Do not leave your chopsticks vertically in your bowl
Although it seems like the most convenient place to put your chopsticks, in China this is something totally inappropriate, it has a much deeper meaning, as it symbolizes funerals and death. The bowl suggests the tomb and the chopsticks put vertically on it the incense sticks which are put around the tomb for honouring the deceased.
6. Never get angry in public
Public displays of anger are frowned upon by the Chinese and are most uncomfortable for them to deal with — especially if the people getting angry are foreign tourists, for example. This goes right along with making someone (usually the Chinese host) lose face, which you should avoid at all costs. The Chinese place a premium on group harmony, so foreigners should try to swallow hard, be polite, and cope privately.
7. Do not use just one hand to give or receive something
Most Chinese at restaurants and shops or elsewhere will give you back your change using both their hands. This is a way to show they respect you. Though Chinese people now do it less and less it is still the correct way to communicate with the locals.
8. Don’t buy something without first bargaining (in the markets)
When shopping in markets in China, try to keep in mind that the Chinese love bargaining. It’s a way of life here. So when buying fruits, presents, clothes, or most other things, keep in mind that you should try to get them at cheaper prices than those first offered to you. For things such as clothes and presents bought at a market start bargaining at half the price. (Not the case in larger stores)
9. Never show up empty handed
Gifts are exchanged frequently between the Chinese, and not just on special occasions. If you have dinner in someone’s house to meet a prospective business partner or for any other pre-arranged meeting, both parties commonly exchange gifts as small tokens of friendship and good will. Westerners are often surprised at the number of gifts the Chinese hosts give. The general rule of thumb is to bring many little (gender non-specific) gifts when you travel to China. You never know when you’ll meet someone who wants to present you with a special memento, so you should arrive with your own as well.
10. Avoid speaking about politics and other sensitive subjects.
Last but not least, though this is again something that can be advised in every single country: do not engage in conversations around the topics of politics, government of Taiwan. These matters are reputed the most embarrassing and quarreling one so in order to have a great experience of China, let these kind of subjects aside. Life is not all about it, please!
Of course there are lots of other ones, but these are for me the most important things not to do in China. Keep them in mind and make sure not to offend the people you are in China!
